Author: jonathan

Metric number 2: Vacation – non vacation gap

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Back from a family vacation. I never want to plan or go to these. I am almost always happy I did – that’s for another gap. I want to talk about how the body feels in vacation and after.

On vacation with kids, it’s intense. However you want to twist it, you are active, moving, tired. You are taken away from your routine, your workouts, sleep, ceremonies etc.

I was positive overall, had a good feeling most of the time. It means you body is not in stress or pain a lot – the emotional pain that you feel in your body. That’s a positive.

I came back. Happy to come back, my routine, my bed, my everything. Sleep got better, back to working out. That’s a positive. However, immediate emotional pain about big life questions. Questions you should avoid as no one has answers to them anyways.

Net – net: I don’t even know. It’s confusing. Does vacation give you a needed break and quality time? does it increase your pain when you go back? Candidly, I think the latter…

Empty striped and colorful chairs on a sandy beach with children's sand toys at sunset

Metric number one: Brain – World gap

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Do you have thoughts or emotions that exist only in your head? that you don’t share with a person or write them down?

I assume you do.

Imagine each person had a score, a metric, that is known to his close circles, maybe even beyond that.

This metric would be – what is the variance, the difference, on average, between your external and internal.

You could add to which direction – negative or positive.

For example – a person that has positive thoughts but does not share them – will have high positive variance.

If a person has a negative variance – you should pay attention how are they doing, because words will not say it.

Applications? many

Spiral of words and symbols representing brain functions inside a glowing human head outline

Introversion and Melancholy: A Personal Reflection

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Susan’s book on introverts gave me words to describe how I feel and see the world.

Years of being told what I’m doing wrong, and with this book I felt seen.

There’s a part explaining how introversion is a strength, or has many strengths. Well, this part never really landed with me, it still feels like a liability. At least I better know how to cope with it.

Susan’s book on melancholies had a different impact on me. Not from a book review point of view, but from a personal view. Being melancholy is a bigger liability than introversion. It’s starting from minus 3 everyday instead of 0 or higher. It means putting a lot of effort just at finding peace of mind. It means many times a person you yourself would not want to be with, because they don’t lift you up, but rather take you down. It says something about your energy level.

That mirror tells me I’m not in peace with this trait, unlike the introversion one. I still wish I was not melancholic. A wish that will stay a wish.

Lone tree on lakeshore reflected in calm water with mist and sunrise

Goodbye note

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I’ve drafted a goodbye note from the company I’ve worked at for many years. It’s emotional to leave after such a long time, but it feels almost impossible for me to authentically write a social media post about it. Whenever I read other goodbye notes, they all seem to sound the same, and honestly, half of them probably aren’t genuine.

The second issue is that for someone to truly connect to how I feel, they’d have to read carefully, pay real attention, and even then, if they don’t know me well, I’m not sure they’d relate.

And now, with so many people using AI, it’s even harder to tell what’s real. After several drafts, I ended up choosing something quick and dry, just the facts. Maybe even that’s too much.

Perhaps the only real way to convey how I feel is through actual human-to-human interaction.

Our kids, our world

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The moment they do things you’ve never done or could have done, you look at them, amazed, a life coming from you. Such magic, such an incredible moment, yet so easy to take for granted. You created something better than yourself.

When they fail, it hurts so much, far more than when you fail. The pain can be so deep that you sometimes need to be alone, to hold it and sit with it until it moves on. You want the world to be kind to them, but the world is a tough place. You can’t know the future or guarantee anything. For yourself, that was never a big issue, but it’s a heavy feeling when you think and pray for their future.

Our kids. Our world.