I can’t fake smiles. When I see someone I don’t want to smile at, or when I’m not in a good mood, I don’t smile.

I think my smile doesn’t look that good but this is probably an excuse I made.

My mask is not that good. I read a book about a king that had masks on all the time. And he was sad. He found happiness only when started being real. But I need a mask.

I feel that every feeling I feel is immediately reflected out. Happy, tired, angry, sad. I envy people with masks.

Sometimes I force myself to smile to people. “Smile and the world will smile back at you :)”. Right? Well not always. When the other person is not smiling back I feel sad. If she smiled back it makes me happy. For 10 seconds. Happiness is seconds. Sadness is days.

People are expecting to see smiles. What about authenticity? Maybe if I’d just be me it will be accepted and respected?