Do you have stuff from your past you don’t like? Embarrassing moments or times where you were vulnerable. Moments we are not too proud of. I am not talking about “let’s blame my parents or teachers” party, in fact blame does not live in this building at all.

With time passing one might think we are over these moments. We might be thinking it because we usually avoid these situations or just deal with them a bit better.

Maybe it’s public speaking, or just being out there. Maybe it’s relationship or speaking up your opinion. Facing a strong person. Basically dealing with our fears and mistakes.

There are so many books, TED talks and coaches that built business models on that. And if your read thus far I am sure you consumed few of them. So where am I going with that you ask?

We need to air it. I tried fighting it and still do in some cases. I got aggressive, I blushed, felt bad inside. But from time to time, with the right conditions, I air it. And it makes me happy.

And here is my process. Yes I call it process but it’s not even best practices. Just thoughts. Hey, naming is important.

1. The right time – during days your energy level is actually high. It will run down your battery before it goes up again.
2. The right person – someone who is open to listening. I am still surprised how few people are. And don’t expect a response that is something special. It’s your process. An understating look is good enough. Counter sharing is rare. If you really want to go all in, share it with a person from the period it happened.
3. The right way – I like saying it as it was. No sarcasm. Some self humor can help.
4. Share that did it – be it in writing for yourself, a talk with a close friend or family. Just listed to your mind or voice saying that you shared it. You shared this not so fun stuff to share. And now you feel better [hopefully :)].

The next time something will trigger that memory, it will not cause this shameful response. It is something you already aired. It is something that built you to be you.