Our kids, our world

October 5, 2025 / jonathan / Leave a comment

The moment they do things you’ve never done or could have done, you look at them, amazed, a life coming from you. Such magic, such an incredible moment, yet so easy to take for granted. You created something better than yourself.

When they fail, it hurts so much, far more than when you fail. The pain can be so deep that you sometimes need to be alone, to hold it and sit with it until it moves on. You want the world to be kind to them, but the world is a tough place. You can’t know the future or guarantee anything. For yourself, that was never a big issue, but it’s a heavy feeling when you think and pray for their future.

Our kids. Our world.

A Plesunt Surprise

September 28, 2025 / jonathan / Leave a comment

I used to believe I had a good sense for people’s energy—so much that I could feel it in my body. When it happened, my own energy would shift in response. Over time, though, I sensed too much negativity, and that sensitivity became a burden. Truthfully, it always was—draining me.

After so much negative energy, two things happened:

1. I began avoiding people, even new ones, assuming they would drain me too. And of course, I stayed away from those who had already done so.

2. I tried to shut this sense down, to go numb.

Both are bad outcomes.

Today, I met someone whose eyes, smile, and quiet energy filled me. It made me want to know more, to look deeper into their eyes and take in that energy. It wasn’t explosive, not something that took up all the air around us—just gently positive. So rare.

I wish that kind of positive energy surrounded us more often. I miss it. Today was such a pleasant reminder.

Stubborn

September 16, 2025 / jonathan / Leave a comment

Where’s the balance between thinking independently and simply being stubborn? Reality today feels so different from twenty years ago. I find many of the changes are making things worse—frankly, almost all of them. I keep asking myself: is this just my own inability to adapt, or are these truly harmful changes? Even the way young people speak sounds strange to me. And why don’t they breathe through their noses?

My hope for today

September 11, 2025 / jonathan / Leave a comment

Walking down the street, I look at the people around me. They don’t look the same as they did twenty years ago. They feel less familiar. More serious. More angry. It’s as if they’re sleeping less, as if their minds can’t find any quiet. Those who talk, talk louder. Some stare at endless videos on their phones, right there in public, ignoring everyone nearby. A few finish a smoke or a snack and just throw it on the ground.

And yet—sometimes, one out of many offers kindness. A smile.
I hope I meet them today. I hope they’ll still be here tomorrow.

You don’t want to

July 9, 2023July 14, 2024 / jonathan / Leave a comment

Be too busy, but also to have too much time to think

Be too stressful, but also not have a reason to act

Be too tired, but also not to be too much in bed till you can’t sleep

You don’t want to be with many people, but also not to dwell in your inner world

You don’t want to be angry with your kids, but you are

You want to be kind to yourself, but it’s hard

You want to smile

You want to feel the breeze

You want to hear the music

You will

Here it comes again, grey, low

July 9, 2023July 14, 2024 / jonathan / Leave a comment

It’s cyclical. The feeling is well known. The energy is down. The anger is higher. The body is heavy or hurts. Something is missing, but it’s impossible to know what. Endless lists that were done in the past floats up again, without any new insight. You don’t even try to filter the reasons. You look at it from the inside and from the outside. Looking from the outside is a skill you developed in the countless times it felt like this in past. The meta look, the external look, was supposed to be a powerful tool, helping you pull yourself up, providing you with a clear fresh perspective. It does not help this time. Your friend is movement, alone time, and patient.

It’s grey. It will stay grey for some time. Don’t fight it, be it. And it will pass.