My friend, alone together

June 18, 2018July 25, 2019 / jonathan / Leave a comment

I walked home from school. Blue sky. Wind that feels nice on my skin.

Every few steps I touched something that was next to me. A flower, a fence, a tree, a car. The walking and touching helped me rest my mind.

Next to the store I saw few guys from class. They were standing near their bicycles, speaking loudly. I nodded, feeling jealous for not being there, invited, speaking loud and enjoining it. Wanting to be there and not be there at the same time.

When I arrived home I saw my neighbor. She was my age. She had beautiful eyes. We had eye contact many times. But hardly talked. I felt energized after communicating with her with my eyes but I did not know if she felt the same.

The more we exchanged looks without talking, the harder was to just start and talk. How do you start a small talk with all this history.

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Parenthood meets introversion

March 24, 2018January 18, 2023 / jonathan / Leave a comment

I talked with a friend who is also a parent about memories each had from the early days of parenting. I noticed we had completely different memories. My set was around many stressful moments back then. My friend’s was mainly around the magic and love of these primal moments.

Over time the experience became much more familiar and known, but this conversation made it clearer that different personalities process intense experiences differently. While there’s nothing new here, the extent surprised me.

What was so overwhelming?

Less control over events.

Much more attention and unasked for advice.

Many friction points with your partner.

Less free time.

A lot more noise.

You worry.

Your emotions go up and down, not the preferred small changes.

Much more decisions.

Much less sleep.

It opens your heart in a way you could not imagine possible.

Being close, being angry

March 23, 2018July 25, 2019 / jonathan / Leave a comment

My colleague was angry at me. He thought I criticized him too much.

The immediate instinct was to be angry back.

Then I said ” I see you are angry at me. I understand it. I want you to know I am trying to do what is right for you. You are important to me”. I said what I felt.

He was still angry.

The day after I learned he accepted my advice, although he did not have to. I smiled. I knew he understood and appreciated.

I felt we have built something healthy together.

Now replace *colleague* with *kid*.

Be true.

Share values.

Kid’s feelings, my feelings

March 22, 2018July 25, 2019 / jonathan / Leave a comment

Looking at your kid playing with others. Sensing every body movement, stress, excitement, awkwardness.

Thinking you can read his feelings.

Wishing you could have read his feelings.

Are those my feelings or his?

Can I help him?

Can I help myself?

Meaningful dialog. Simple

March 13, 2018July 29, 2019 / jonathan / Leave a comment

So many words around us. Fueled by fast pace social feeds.

When does a dialog or content have a real meaning?

It happens when there are shared or similar past and present with a person. Otherwise the interaction might be a cliché.

A strong present is created when we share values with a person. It matters more than frequency of meeting.
Two sides sharing values are likely to feel caring and empathetic.

Connections based on sarcasm or negativity are temporary and energy consuming. Like the impact of alcohol.

Share values with your echo system. Reduce interfaces that are not value based. And be at peace with that.