“ Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!Dr. Seuss
You’re off and away! ”
Author: jonathan
Eddie says Just breathe
What is Eddie Vedder’s magic?
First of all he survives. The spell of nineties grunge. He was an outsider – not a raised and born Seattle. He learned that his real father was dead and that he was lied about that. This is a theme that comes back in his songs. But it not the point.
He is part of a band that survives. Still creative, still rocking. Almost fell apart after the great Album Vitalogy, practically creating songs without talking with each other. Survived a huge first album, knowing that it will define them forever and that they could probably never reach this high again. But it is not the point.
And the voice. Goes deep into your head and heart. But it is not the point.
Eddie moves you. Convinces you that he is real. That he has pains and sadness. That it is ok that you too have those. He can make you feel deeper. He is one of us. In his performance he works hard. Harder than most. He thanks people who work back stage. By their name and in length. Authenticity. Empathy. Imperfect.
Let’s air
Do you have stuff from your past you don’t like? Embarrassing moments or times where you were vulnerable. Moments we are not too proud of. I am not talking about “let’s blame my parents or teachers” party, in fact blame does not live in this building at all.
With time passing one might think we are over these moments. We might be thinking it because we usually avoid these situations or just deal with them a bit better.
Maybe it’s public speaking, or just being out there. Maybe it’s relationship or speaking up your opinion. Facing a strong person. Basically dealing with our fears and mistakes.
There are so many books, TED talks and coaches that built business models on that. And if your read thus far I am sure you consumed few of them. So where am I going with that you ask?
We need to air it. I tried fighting it and still do in some cases. I got aggressive, I blushed, felt bad inside. But from time to time, with the right conditions, I air it. And it makes me happy.
And here is my process. Yes I call it process but it’s not even best practices. Just thoughts. Hey, naming is important.
- The right time – during days your energy level is actually high. It will run down your battery before it goes up again.
- The right person – someone who is open to listening. I am still surprised how few people are. And don’t expect a response that is something special. It’s your process. An understating look is good enough. Counter sharing is rare. If you really want to go all in, share it with a person from the period it happened.
- The right way – I like saying it as it was. No sarcasm. Some self humor can help.
- Share that did it – be it in writing for yourself, a talk with a close friend or family. Just listed to your mind or voice saying that you shared it. You shared this not so fun stuff to share. And now you feel better [hopefully :)].
The next time something will trigger that memory, it will not cause this shameful response. It is something you already aired. It is something that built you to be you.
Mental wellness – why emotions
“Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. ” U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
“Being mentally well means that your mind is in order and functioning in your best interest. You are able to think, feel and act in ways that create a positive impact on your physical and social well-being. ” Singapore Association for Mental Health
Before we start let’s talk shorty on association: There is a negative association to the word Mental. Same as there is still to some extent to words such as Wellness, Mindful, Empathy.
The word Introvert’s association has improved a lot with Susan Cain’s Quiet but I think it’s safe to say that it mainly made introverts feel a bit better or more accurately to get to know themselves better. Outside the Introverted “community” it is still associated to being shy, non-assertive, no social, not daring, not charismatic etc. I am stating it because mental wellness will probably go in a similar route as introversion. And both are only in the beginning of their journey in the path of improving our lives.
So there’s a still a long way for Introversion but back to mental wellness. One of the biggest facts driving the importance of mental wellness is the proven connection between our mental state and our physical state. The most sarcastic Doctor, believing only what she sees in a prestige research magazine will confirm it [see some reference here]. We don’t need research to know that our mood [mind] gets down when we don’t sleep or eat [physical] or that we get sick or feel muscles pain [physical] when are stressed or in the midst of a conflict or a big decision.
Now lets talk some emotions. Emotions are part of our mind, which is a concept many argue about what it includes, how it relates to our brain and body etc., but I think that a good definition might be something like: an abstract layer, buffering between our physical us and the world. We see the world through it and it impacts how we are seen by others. Emotions, therefore, are included in our mind. And the mind plays a huge part in our life, how we experience it and what we achieve.
There are many reasons why emotions are so cool:
Continue readingWhen tired meets tired – being mindfully sad
It’s an accident that cannot be avoided.
My definition of feeling well is that my well being is stable, even when I encounter something that can throw me out of balance. It means that you can touch the tip of your comfort zone without your pulse increasing too much. You can receive negative feedback and really listen to it in a constructive way. I can stand in a line, without sweating too much (not sure about this last one. Some lines cannot be crossed).
Heard a song from my teen soundtrack
I was hearing a song from my teens. Hearing it took me back to those days. It awakens a feeling inside my body. The same feeling, I think, I had back then, but not sure. This feeling comes together with memories.
Which memories stay with us many years later? what does it mean that we kept those memories and not others.
Sometimes I wish I had documented more of my thoughts and experiences from back then.
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