It’s Ambivalent. I’m Ambivalent.

Let’s start with the easy stuff. Those we use money (which they have or don’t have) to show success, to gain respect, that’s not a smart move. It’s dependent on what other are thinking. And that’s a drug you want to avoid. I never really understood.

But the more complex angle is that I want money. And it’s hard to acknowledge it. Am I like them?

I want it because it comes with supporting my family and securing their future. To the degree money can.

I want it because it brings financial independence. So I don’t need to think short term and compromise my values.

I want it because I want to rest a bit. Loosen up FOMO a bit.

But am I true with myself? completely? no external reasons? If others knew about my money, would it make me feel better?